“I am a understanding wife…”

Late at night in a dark living room his wife sees him whispering on the phone. Quietly she walks in on him as he hangs up.

She ask him

“Who were you speaking to?”

He answers:

“I was talking to my second wife whom, I got married to secretly two years back.”

She says to him

“Why would you ever hide that from me?”

He says:

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

She responds:

“It’s okay darling, I am an understanding wife.”

He starts crying loud with tears. She soothes him and tells him, lets not wake up the kids. She holds his hand and takes him to the bedroom…

AND then….

3 steps to follow before one speaks

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Some time ago in Sijistan a learned man occupied himself with grammar. One day he instructed his son:

“When you desire to speak something, then first present it to your intellect, then contemplate over it, then speak it well ordered.”

One day in winters, the father and the son were sitting near the fire. A spark flew and landed on the velvet robe of the father while he was unaware of it. After sometime, the son said:

“O My father, do I the permission to say something?”.

“Yes”,

the father said.

Son:

“I see something red!”

Father:

“Where?”

Son:

“On your robe.”

The father realizes his robe is on fire. He stands up, puts out the fire and curses his son:

“Why didn’t you say anything before?”

The obedient son replies:

“First, I presented it to my intellect, then I contemplated over it, then I spoke it well-ordered.”

Father curses some more:

“May I be divorced from my wife if I ever teach grammar again!”

The Art of Party Crashing

– Once a man crashed another man’s party. “Who are you?” the host asked him. “I’m the one who saved you the trouble of sending an invitation!” he replied.

– A party-crasher walked into a gathering, and they said to him, “Nobody invited you!” “But if you didn’t invite me and I didn’t come,” he replied, “think how lonely that would be!”

– Once a party-crasher walked in the house of a man who had invited a gathering of people. “Hey, you!” the man said. “Did I say you could come?” “Did you say I couldn’t come?” the party crasher replied.

– Someone asked a party-crasher, “What’s four times four?” “Sixteen loaves of bread,” he said. “What is two times two?” “Four loaves of bread,” he replied. And another time he said, “I waited the amount of time it takes someone to eat a loaf of bread.”

– Bunan (a popular rogue at the time that Selove likens to a cross between Falstaff and Robin Hood) had eaten and eaten well, and someone said to him, “Slow down! You’ll kill yourself!” “If it is time to die,” Bunan replied, “I want to go well fed and well watered, not parched and hungry.”

– A party-crasher took up with a man while traveling. One day the man said to him, ““Go and buy some meat for us.” “No, by God, I don’t have the means,” said the party-crasher. So the man went and bought the meat. Then he said, “Get up and cook it.” “I’m no good at cooking,” said the party-crasher. So the man cooked the meat. Then he said, “Get up and sop the bread,” and the party-crasher replied, “By God, I feel exhausted.” So the man sopped the bread. Then he said, “Get up and ladle the stew.” “I’m afraid I’ll spill it on my robe,” said the party-crasher, so the man ladled the stew. “Get up and eat,” he said. “By God,” said the party-crasher, “I’ve been feeling bad for refusing you so many times,” and he came forward and ate.’

From the book, called “The Art of Party Crashing,” which is published by Syracuse University Press.

3 eggs – a joke

A chicken laid 3 eggs and made dua that her babies are pious. A few days later the eggs hatched.The first baby came out praying Salah. The second came out doing Dhikr. The third didnt come out, so the chicken became worried. A voice came from the egg saying, “Don’t worry Mum, I am sitting in I’tikaaf.”

–  Imam Tahir Anwar –

Quiz – På engelsk

Oganisationen Muslim Aid – Serving humanity er en vekendt, populær og troværdig organisation. I anledningen af Ramadanen har jeg fået tilsendt en folder hvor denne quiz (på engelsk for børn) er inkluderet. Jeg synes at denne skulle deles med jer. Best og luck 🙂

  1. Muslim Aid works in Mesopotamia, Abyssinia and Persia. What are the new names for these countries?
  2. What percentage of a person’s wealth needs to be paid as Zakat?
  3. What is the specific name given to charity which is distributed at the end of the Ramadan?
  4. The Quran was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) in Ramadan. What age was he when it was revealed to him through the Angel Jibraeel (alayhi sallam)?
  5. In the month Ramadan, there is a night which is better than a 1000 months. What is that night called?
  6. What month comes just before Ramadan in the Islamic calendar?
  7. What country has the largest number of Muslims in the world?
  8. What is the capital city of Bosnia-Herzegovina?
  9. A cyclone occured in Myanmar in May 208. What was its name?
  10. Ramadan can be divided into three parts. Name then and describe the special blessings of each.

Svarene kan ses ved at følge dette link: QUIZ